I’ve been chumped.

English has many words and phrases to describe taking it in the shorts: dupe, cheat, deceive, betray, fool, fleece, hustle, sting, swindle, mislead, gull, scam, defraud, trick, hoodwink, hoax, double-cross, bamboozle, rip off, shaft, pull a fast one, screw, sucker, snooker, stiff, among others.

For my situation, I pick “chump,” originally an 18th century term for “thick lump of wood,” and probably a blend of chunk and lump or stump. Chump is a noun, but it should be a verb, as in “Volkswagen chumped those dumb do-gooders.”

VW fixed the EPA’s pollution tests by programming a “defeater” into its software to reduce pollutants only during the tests. Tests over, snappy VW’s rev up, throwing smog into the air.

After admitting to its chumping on a Monday, VW proceeded to run the cheery “Clean Diesel” Jetta ad the following Thursday during a replay of the final FedEx golf tournament. That rubbed sand into the clean diesel deceit.

My mind tries to figure out how many people were involved in the snooker. First, there are the wise guys who came up with the scam. And then there are the doers. The software engineers and designers. The software testers. The software installers. The middle managers who said “Gute Idee!” The chief of Environmental Good Works at VW who said, “sehr heiß!” or very good idea!

Then I wonder about the rationalizing that must have gone on. Did the VW people say to themselves, “It’s just a little bit of noxious nitrogen oxide in the whole scheme of things, so what’s the harm?” Did they think the wrath of Martin Winterkorn, the former VW CEO who does look snarly, was worse than the hoax? Were they relieved when those first cars passed the emissions test with flying colors? And that they still weren’t busted years later?

I’m grateful the bamboozle didn’t cripple or kill me, as GM’s cover-up did to so many. I’m glad I still have some retirement savings, which is better than the fate of many of Bernie Madoff’s victims after his hustle. I’m pleased I’m smart enough not to send money to scammers to get my grandson out of jail.

My business partner Lou doesn’t want me driving down her street anymore, gunking up her air. I have to ride my bike over whenever we talk work.

To be honest, I was easily gulled. I’ve always loved performance cars but never had one until I turned 50 and bought a used Audi 90, pearl white with black interior. It was delicious gearing up from second to third on the way up the mountains. But it only got about 23 miles to the gallon.

My diesel Jetta gives me great mileage and fun performance. VW made sure of that. And that’s how I got chumped.

Paula Noonan owns Colorado Capitol Watch, the state’s premier legislature tracking platform.