I almost feel sorry for Cory Gardner. Almost.

Gardner entered office after an upset win over Mark Udall, appearing to many as a reasonable, moderate, and thoughtful candidate with whom one can disagree but still respect. I initially thought he might be like Colorado Springs Mayor John Suthers – a gent that, if I could not have a Democrat, was the best option available. The least bad, so to speak.

Imagine my surprise when Sen. Gardner decided, for reasons unfathomable from a policy or political point of view, to tie himself firmly to the coattails and rants of Donald Trump. Colorado is, at best for Republicans, a purple state. More likely, Gardner represents a blue state now, and given his alleged positions before his election, his choice to embrace Trump so fully seems illogical and, frankly, quite damaging to his re-election chances.

Which, of course, brings me to the tyranny of wearing pants and masks and such.

I am genuinely puzzled why Trump decided to make wearing a mask, of all things, a partisan issue. His followers (of whom a remarkable number are now testing positive) have somehow equated wearing a mask with some form of governmental tyranny. The irony, of course, as we all know, is that mask wearing isn’t so much for you yourself, but rather to help prevent other people from becoming ill, if you happen to be infected but not yet physically ill. A decision not to wear a mask, regardless of whatever window dressing rationale is used, is a declaration that your personal comfort is more important to you than the lives of your fellow human beings.

Those who rebel against common sense may simply be parroting the disinformation coming from our president’s mouth. Recall that very recently his claimed in a speech that 99% of COVID cases were “totally harmless.” Trump’s own FDA commissioner refused to refute the dangerous and inaccurate presidential tirade. So why are so many on the right obsessed with the idea that wearing a mask is actually about governmental overreach? I don’t get it, but I also care about the welfare of other Americans, so I wear a mask.

But in keeping with the radical right’s obsession, let’s address some other areas of government overreach which results in a reduction of your personal freedoms, shall we?

Those darn airlines insist that we wear seat belts when we fly. What about my right to decide on my own safety? And those poor surgeons, forced to wear masks and all that so-called sterile gear like gloves and gowns. Back in the good old days (say, 1750), doctors didn’t wear any masks or gloves and things were just fine. Oh, and stop signs, don’t get me started on stop signs. Why can’t I drive where I want and at whatever speed I want? Darn government overreach!

I’m also thinking about opening a “Freedom Café” where I would not require my customers to wear masks or other instruments of governmental oppression. Wanna come in for a meal? You should know that I will also extend that same freedom from rules to my staff, in that I will suggest, but not require, that they wash their hands after using the bathroom. Oh, and if they want to keep raw chicken out on the open counter all day next to the fresh salad greens, that’s ok with me. And they can use the same knife to cut the raw chicken and chop the salad, because, you know, freedom.

Finally, let us address the real problem, the tyranny of pants. We’ve all been to those shops, likely run by socialists, that have a sign posted that says something like “no shirt, no shoes, no service.” I think wearing pants is implied. But how dare they? If I want to go to a store wearing nothing beyond my imagined self-importance, why can’t I? Freedom, boys and girls, is at risk by those pants-requiring, shoe-wearing shop owners. Shop naked for freedom!

OK, I’m calming down now. But still, I truly don’t get why the request to wear a simple device that will greatly reduce COVID transmission is seen as such a burden. The European nations seem to have worked through the whole mask thing, and they are beating the virus at the same time as we are seeing record new infections.

Ultimately, I suspect the core reason for this irrational position is the rantings of our president. He has convinced his followers that he and he alone is the source of truthiness and that anyone who disagrees is either Hillary or someone from the “enemy of the people” news media. But far too many of his own supporters, defying health warnings, have denounced the virus as a hoax, only to be sickened or killed by COVID.

Remember that the virus doesn’t care about your politics or your sense of personal freedom. It is a stupid germ. And it has only one goal in life – to reproduce and spread. Let us decide that in this one case, we accept science rather than Trumpian rants.

Wear the darn mask, please.