The lighter side of the Capitol, and oh boy, was it lighter this week!

What a difference a year makes.

Sine die in the House was never like this!

The final day of the 2024 legislative session could not have been more different than how things ended in 2023. There was NO good humor then, particularly in the House, where Republicans walked out rather than vote on a property tax bill and progressive Democrats chewed out the House Speaker over her bipartisan efforts.

There’s no better expression of how different things were for Sine Die 2024 than in two videos produced by Reps. Brianna Titone and Lorena Garcia.

Unfortunately, this column cannot provide a link to the videos. It’s kinda like Hummers, that former long-standing tradition where the minority party mocked the majority party. What happens in the House stays in the House.

However, you’ll get a brief synopsis of what happened and let your imagination go wild a bit.

The first video was a mockumentary on the passage of Senate Bill 180. This may be the shortest bill ever. It’s literally a one-line bill that says, “In Colorado Revised Statutes, repeal 11-51-308.7.”

That’s it. The bill title, CONCERNING THE REPEAL OF THE “COLORADO DIGITAL TOKEN ACT,” has more words.

Everyone got into the act: the bill sponsors, lawmakers vehemently opposed to repealing the law (huh?), and even the governor, sitting lonely in his office, waiting for the sponsors to show up for a bill signing ceremony. He gave up waiting and signed it anyway.

Highlights included committee hearings, in which it was pointed out that Colorado is the only state that has repealed its regulations on digital tokens. As it turns out, Colorado is the only state that has passed a bill to regulate digital tokens. It went from there.

FYI, the bill has a petition clause. Just sayin’.

The second video was lawmakers dancing and singing to Queen’s “The Show Must Go On!” Toward the end, it featured a beaming Rep. Leslie Herod, doing her best chanteuse impression.

Mad props to Titone and Garcia. The videos were done very well and had everyone in stitches.

The rubber band ball fiasco

One of the wonderful traditions that follows the final adjournment of the Senate is the annual rubber band ball drop, which dates to 2010.

The two parties have competed in the past years, and the Republicans have won in the last eight years.

This year, however, there was only one contestant ball from the Republicans. Capitol M suspected that there was mischief afoot and that Sen. Jim Smallwood was most likely to blame. A couple of years ago, the Republican ball, maintained by Smallwood, was kidnapped and held for ransom by Senate Democrats, who risked having their ball also taken.

Smallwood claimed this week he had NOTHING to do with the Democrats’ missing ball and that they didn’t do it this year. Booo!

The Republicans won this year’s competition by default.

Now that Smallwood is term-limited, the job of putting together the annual Republican ball is likely to go to Sen. Kevin Van Winkle, who, as a staffer, was part of the original trio who came up with the idea, along with Sens. Shawn Mitchell and Mark Scheffel.

The mystery is solved!

It took until the final day of the 2024 session for Rep. Mike Lynch to FINALLY decide who will be awarded the green jacket for the 2025 session. It’s House Speaker Julie McCluskie.

There was bribery involved, sources admit.

The green jacket is that fashion monstrosity that is part of the House’s St. Patrick’s Day tradition and is passed along from one lawmaker of Irish descent to another.

Wear it well, Madame Speaker!

Fond farewells

In addition to the term-limited and other senators who won’t be back in 2025, the Senate is also losing its long-time secretary, Cindi Markwell, who has been at the state capitol for all but three years since 1979.

When she tells people how long she’s been here, Markwell hears a lot of “I wasn’t even born yet!” from reporters (Jesse Paul of the Sun and most of the rest of the Capitol press corps, except for yours truly) and lawmakers (like Senate President Steve Fenberg).

The House is losing Chief Clerk Robin Jones, who had some interesting words for lawmakers in his departure this week.

The Senate during the last days of the regular session hosted tributes to departing members Sens. Rachel Zenzinger, Jim Smallwood, Rhonda Fields, Kevin Priola, Fenberg, Bob Gardner, Joann Ginal and Perry Will.

Priola and Gardner are the legislature’s 16-year lawmakers, having served four terms in the House and two terms in the Senate.

In the House, the GOP caucus is losing seven of its “mighty 19,” and the House Democrats are losing nine of their 46 members. Most are leaving for reasons other than term limits, such as running for Congress or the upper chamber.

Cutest Day at the Capitol

That would be the day the Denver Dumbs Friend League, in advance of the May 4 Furry Scurry, showed up with PUPPIES!!!!

There was much puppy-hugging that went on, like this:

A paw-sitively awesome day at the Colorado Capitol! #coleg #copolitics pic.twitter.com/1gubM0Gz2f

— Colorado Senate Democrats (@COSenDem) May 2, 2024

 and this

Stress-relief break at the State Capitol thanks to the @DDFL! #coleg pic.twitter.com/EHwiOa4F2j

— Dylan Roberts (@Dylan_RobertsCO) May 2, 2024

and this!

Officially the cutest day at the Colorado Capitol♥️ Thank you to @DDFL for the great work you do and for letting us meet some of your adoptable furry friends🐶 pic.twitter.com/jsfSUcNmIg

— Manny Rutinel (@MannyRutinel) May 2, 2024

Two Newfoundland puppies found forever homes on May 2.

Under the “they really did that?” category

Bill amendments that lawmakers run for the fun of it (jokes, mostly) are not all that uncommon.

Case in point: last Saturday’s Senate session, only the third time in the last 84 years the Senate has met on a Saturday.

Sen. Barbara Kirkmeyer, ably assisted by Sen. Kyle Mullica, decided that a bill on minimum parking requirements, which had been somewhat of a long-drawn-out affair in the Senate, needed one more amendment on Saturday.

The amendment to House Bill 1304 attempted to add guardrails (ha ha!) by requiring the General Assembly to eliminate the parking space for Sen. Nick Hinrichsen, who rides a bike or motorcycle to the Capitol on most days and hence does not need a parking space.

As it turns out, Hinrichsen seemed amenable to the proposed policy but sought a title ruling.

Senate President Steve Fenberg was clearly faced with a sticky dilemma. He pointed out that the bill applies to metro districts, and the Capitol isn’t one. In addition, the state Capitol has state supremacy and is not regulated by a metropolitan planning organization, which HB 1304 deals with.

Fenberg ruled the amendment did not fit the title, adding, “I’m not a lawyer, but I am the president.”

Senators then went back to arguing about HB 1304. Sen. Jim Smallwood got up to discuss why he didn’t like the bill, using up his 10 minutes to speak on the bill.

Several people were watching the clock; when his time was up, the rest of the Senate gave him a “three-two-one” countdown.

The final amendment on HB 1304 corrected a typo: the word “mullet” was used instead of “multi.” Priola, the bill’s sponsor, called it the “Joe Dirt” amendment.

May the Fourth be with you

May 4 was a Saturday, but with both the House and Senate in session, lawmakers were not disappointed in their efforts to celebrate the Star Wars holiday. Lots of Princess Leias were running around the House (Reps. Jenny Willford, Mandy Lindsay, Meg Froelich, Brianna Titone, and Jennifer Parenti).

May the 4th be with you! #Maythe4thBeWithYou #coleg pic.twitter.com/1KhNpyakAE

— Rep. Jenny Willford (@JennyforCO) May 4, 2024

Senatorial fives featured Star Wars themed music piped into the chamber, with some senators singing along. Not that there are any words to the main Star Wars theme; it was more of a hum-along.

Eric Bergman of Colorado Counties, Inc. wore Chewbacca socks and a “Death Star” belt buckle. It’s a sign he’s going over to the dark side. He’s joining the Polis administration later this month.

A final tribute to the ever-affable Sen. Perry Will

Joke amendments don’t make it into final versions of a bill, but that record went by the wayside and is no longer a joke,.

A tip o’ the hat to Senadora Julie Gonzales, who advocated for an amendment adopted in the Senate to Senate Bill 184, which sets up the funding for Front Range passenger rail bill. Gonzales’ amendment will make Will the official voice. She worked that amendment in the House, and it remains on the bill. 

This also resolves the session-long debate between Will and Denver Mayor Mike Johnston, who weaseled out of a Rocky Mountain oyster challenge in mid-April that could have determined the voice of the train at Denver International Airport. I guess we’ll never know.

House members did try their own shenanigans with SB 184, with an amendment to bill’s title that said “CONCERNING: THE GOVERNOR LIKES TO USE TAXPAYER MONEY TO PLAY WITH CHOO CHOO TRAINS.”

But no one tried to remove the language around Sen. Will, and it remains. 

Just as a reminder to you, Dear Reader, and the governor: he doesn’t have line-item veto authority on any bill except for the state budget bill. 

Given the proposed opening for the passenger rail, according to one lawmaker, is 3010, Capitol M’s recommendation to the Senate GOP is to record Will’s voice sooner rather than later.

Get well soon to Eleni Angelides

A “get well” soon goes out to Eleni Angelides, who was diagnosed with cancer mid-session.

Angelides is part of the governor’s lobbying team. Her friends and colleagues brought her in absentia to the Capitol this week.

well, a shitty cancer diagnosis mid-session certainly wasn’t on my bingo card, but, sometimes you just gotta keep moving forward. so grateful for my team & incredible community at the capitol. was there in spirit today: pic.twitter.com/CZxcvE4WHq

— Eleni Angelides (@EAngelides) May 7, 2024

Happy off-season, everyone!