If Wikipedia is to be believed, the origin of a familiar jest describing politicians can be traced to the mid-1980s and Democratic campaign consultant Paul Begala. Thirty-five years on he is still peddling his punditry on Sunday morning news shows. Subsequent permutations, allow you to take your pick from: “Politics/Washington/Congress is Hollywood/show business/a fashion runway for ugly people.” Their penchant for drama was on display last week as Rand Paul, Kentucky’s runner-up for the “most despised Republican senator,” challenged Doctor Anthony Fauci for his mask wearing, social distancing “theater.” The good doctor gave as good as he got, pushing back against Rand’s willful ignorance.

Denver witnessed its own theatrics last week when Vice President Kamala Harris and the Second Gentleman, Doug Emhoff, blew through town, ostensibly to acquaint voters with the hidden benefits tucked into the American Rescue Plan while spotlighting COVID vaccination success. There’s nothing wrong with Democrats taking a victory lap, but the decision to exclude Denver journalists doesn’t bode well for the White House once it faces tougher fights ahead. Relying on Presidential pool reporters and videographers to distribute identical reports to local newscasts earned acid complaints, ranging from the merely sarcastic to openly nasty, from news anchors trusted by Colorado audiences. Only Channel 4 (CBS), which was recruited to share its video was even polite.

I’m sure the pictures played well nationally, as network newscasts evidently received far more tape, including brief interviews with Gov. Polis and Mayor Hancock. As Barack Obama reportedly would frequently ask, “Who thought this was a good idea?” It leaves me wondering who they were trying to persuade – apparently not Colorado residents.

On the other hand, I was pleased the Harris entourage had been steered to Maria Empanadas on South Broadway. Lorena Cantarovici’s culinary success was acknowledged in 2017 when selected as Small Business Owner of the year. She recounted her failure to receive help from the CARES Act, as big banks and their largest clients scurried away with most of the PPP grant moneys. She was forced to close three of her shops and furloughed 80% of her employees. Receiving help through the second COVID relief act, she now has 80% back on the payroll but survival is a day-to-day struggle.

A winsome 9-year old asked what the White House was planning to do to slow the volume of plastic trash generated by all the COVID takeout meals felt almost too perfect – tossing Kamala the softest of soft pitches. Joe Biden we were told, to no one’s surprise, will curtail both plastic pollution and combat climate change. Should the Veep return to promote a public option offered within Obamacare, immigration reform or filibuster repeal, I recommend scheduling a cavernous union hall, with the audience appropriately masked but, hopefully, unconcerned about social distancing. Then invite all the local media. They may not forget this recent snub, but they will forgive it for a front row perch and one-on-one interviews. That sounds more like transparency.

Back in Hollywood on the Potomac, Congress appears at loggerheads on whether or not to create a commission to investigate what happened before and during the insurrection on Jan. 6. There’s unlikely anything to be discovered that won’t be divulged in the court trials facing the hundreds that have been arrested. Democrats should remain patient. It’s far more urgent that Congress launch an inquiry, modeled on the Challenger and 9/11 investigations, to examine our faltering response to the COVID virus, and identifying what worked and what didn’t. A couple of Nobel Prize winners, a few former members of Congress, several epidemiologists and a few critical care providers should do the trick.

Their deliberations should be premised on the presumption there were no malicious actors, but not afraid to call out evidence of incompetence and misfeasance. Surrounded by 21st century digital marvels and the hubris of modernity, we lost sight of the fact we really don’t know any more about how to halt plagues today than doctors did during the Black Death. Their parrot beaked masks, goggles and floor length capes look a lot like PPE, just more stylish. These physicians knew nothing about viruses, but they still figured out that distancing, masking and quarantines could slow the spread of disease. Only vaccines, a relatively recent achievement, offer a cure. Imagine how helpless nurses must have felt during the Spanish flu which killed the young rather than the old.

We had few reliable measures of transmissibility or mortality last March. The initial infection modelers weren’t bio-fascists flexing their muscles. What if the virus had been deadlier? (We may be about to find out.) Closing schools was likely a mistake. Even social distancing has proven less effective than expected. Masks help. But, how did West Virginia win the vaccination derby? We need answers to better protect public health next time.