The lighter side of the Capitol, usually….

Local Journalism Day, except they forgot their very own local journalists.

The state Senate on Thursday, March 19, passed a resolution recognizing Local Journalism Day. Everyone voted for it, which is good, because hell hath no fury like a spurned journalist, right? (especially a spurned Capitol dean, ahem)

The amusing part of this was that not one member of the Capitol press corps knew about this. We found out about it from Corey Hutchins’ Friday newsletter on March 13.

Word got to the caucuses that a vote against the resolution would mean they’d have to deal with the Dean, and they don’t want to deal with the Dean. 

Where is Denver a mile high? Yet another attempt to find out

Denver has been known for many decades as the Mile High City, a designation marked on the steps of the state Capitol. Three times.

And a fourth is on the way, as part of the efforts to celebrate Colorado’s 150th anniversary.

Denver must be rising and falling like ocean tides because the three markers are not exactly that close to each other.

The first marker is the one engraved on the 15th step of the Capitol on its west side. The step says “One Mile Above Sea Level” and was installed with a bronze marker in 1909.

That marker got stolen. Repeatedly. So, in 1947, the inscription was engraved on the 15th step.

But you know, folks can’t leave well enough alone.

The second step, marked by a bronze plaque, is a couple of steps above it. The marker is so faded that you can’t tell what it says, but the Capitol’s website says it was set at the 18th step in 1969, when Colorado State University engineering students remeasured.

Still not good enough, apparently. A third measurement was taken in 2003, and a mile high was determined to be on the 13th step, which is below both the inscribed step and the CSU plaque. That bronze marker is also badly faded, but the date can still be faintly seen. 

Anyone want to bet where the next marker will be? And whether Denver has sunk more or some seismic shift has lifted the city up a few feet?

English translations into LinkedIn, and the LOLs followed

Someone sent Capitol M the following this week. Kagi does an English translation of a LinkedIn speech, and it can be really funny.

Can you guess who didn’t write it? Answers at the bottom.

“As a public servant, I’m deeply inspired by the vision of leaders like RFK Jr., but my true passion lies in reimagining our urban landscapes for a sustainable future. 🌿✨

“I’m committed to pivoting away from car-centric infrastructure and fossil fuel dependency. My mission? Building vibrant, high-density communities where luxury apartment living meets seamless mass transit. 🚆🏙️ 

“We’re moving beyond the era of gas stoves and personal vehicles—even EVs—to embrace a lifestyle centered on walkability and transit-oriented development. Let’s innovate how we live and move. #Sustainability #UrbanPlanning #FutureOfLiving #GreenEnergy #Leadership”

And frankly, this sounds exactly like something this person would say, to be honest.

Next:

“I’m thrilled to share that I’m starting a new chapter! After successfully orchestrating a large-scale civic engagement project, I’ve been selected for an exclusive, nine-year immersive residency program. This unique opportunity will allow me to focus on deep reflection, resilience-building, and long-term strategic planning in a highly secure environment. Grateful for the journey and excited to lean into this period of personal growth! #NewBeginnings #Leadership #Resilience #StrategicPlanning #GrowthMindset”

Next, and this is a song lyric:

“I’m thrilled to share that a high-net-worth female visionary is currently optimizing her portfolio by prioritizing high-value assets and investing in a scalable, vertical infrastructure solution for ultimate spiritual growth. 🚀✨ #VisionaryLeadership #AssetOptimization #StairwayToSuccess #GrowthMindset”

Things you can take to the bank: that the sun rises in the east and sets in the West. You will have to file a tax return at some point in your life.

And that the eagle eyes of the Senate nonpartisan staff are always on the job.

Well, for that last one, maybe 99.999999% of the time.

That wasn’t the case on March 2.

The word “committee” was misspelled four times in the Senate calendar, an occurrence so rare that it merits a teeny bit of attention.

And finally, answers to the Kaga quiz: Jared Polis, Tina Peters, and “There’s a lady who’s sure, all that glitters is gold, and she’s buying a stairway to heaven….”