The lighter side of the state Capitol, usually.  

(With apologies to Dr. Seuss)

“On the first day of April, in the jungle of Nool,

In the heat of the day, in the cool of the pool,

He was splashing…enjoying the jungle’s great joys…

When Goliath the elephant heard a small noise”…

It was Rep. Matt Gray of Broomfield, come to purloin the mighty symbol of the House GOP.

Goliath wandered for many days and nights, up and down the second and third floors of the Colorado state Capitol, finally coming to rest in Gray’s third floor office.

CAPITOL M, week of April 3, 2021 | Rounding up the April Fools' fun

As of Tuesday, however, Goliath has been returned to his happy home, none the worse for wear.

The ransom for return of the GOP symbol is still being collected, with donations going to two nonprofits selected by Gray and Assistant House Minority Leader Rep. Tim Geitner, R-Fountain: Angels of America’s Fallen or the National Alliance on Mental Illness.

And despite Gray’s protestations about Goliath’s weight, he (the elephant, not Rep. Gray) weighs less than a Celtic harp, so Capitol M is not sure what the fuss is about.

Capitol M had an idea to keep Goliath safe: in olden times, a young elephant sometimes had a chain placed around one of its legs as a training device and to keep it from running away. A chain might solve the problem of Goliath wandering away in the future. However, the downside is that First Gentlemen Marlon Reis will probably push for a bill to ban it.

What’s better financially? Unemployment or pay as a lawmaker? Ask Rep. Baisley

During debate Tuesday on HB 1236, on state information technology, Rep. Mark Baisley of Roxborough Park announced he was the victim a second time of a false unemployment claim.

The first time that happened, he said he got a phone call from the Department of Labor and Employment asking if he had filed for unemployment.

“No,” Baisley replied. “I got reelected.”

You could take that a number of ways, Rep. Baisley.

The revenge (?) of Larry Liston

Initially, Capitol M was ready to take Sen. Larry Liston of Colorado Springs to the woodshed, based on claims that he had allegedly turned over his previous practice of reading off economic news when he was in the House to Rep. Richard Holtorf of Akron.

Liston would take a minute or so to read off the latest glowing jobs report, generally ending with “Thanks, President Trump!” which often earned him jeers from the Democrats.

Holtorf is fast becoming known as the Bob Gardner of the House, although Gardner doesn’t go to the podium in the Senate as often as the Eastern Plains lawmaker does in the House. There are days when it appears that Holtorf has yet to find a bill that he can’t talk about. Gardner goes to the podium fewer times, primarily for strategic reasons, but can go on for long periods of time. He’s especially useful when Senate Republicans want to filibuster. It’s known as Bobbing. (And Gardner is a good sport about it.)

On Wednesday, Holtorf read off the latest jobs report but didn’t stop there. Somehow he got into talking about the 1918 Spanish Flu outbreak and the origins of the virus, which started in Kansas. This went on … and on …

Liston, however, denied in the strongest of terms — “Scout’s honor” — that he had anything to do with Holtorf deciding to take up his former activity. “He’s a free agent,” Liston said.