My kindly and oft-forgiving editor prefers it when I write on Colorado politics, for some reason (Ed: Hal, it’s literally in the name of the website!) and so I will, but first, please allow me to draw your attention to Thomas Jefferson’s famous letter to Maria Cosway, written some 233 years ago this month.

In 1786, Jefferson was still a relatively young man, at age 43. He was a widower, having lost his beloved Martha Jefferson, at the age of 33, some four years earlier. Jefferson never remarried, though the above referenced letter clearly shows that in addition to being a savvy politician and remarkable political philosopher, he was also a man of deep passion and keen emotion. 

And so, it may not be a surprise that while in France, Jefferson was overflowing with profound feelings of affection for Mrs. Cosway, a married woman. They spent wonderful days together and Jefferson was truly happy. But on that long-ago October day, Jefferson found himself helping Mrs. Cosway into a carriage, bound for London and a future without Thomas Jefferson in it. Upon his return to Paris, Jefferson took quill in hand and crafted the powerful and heartbreaking “head and heart” letter, wherein his head and his heart argue about the risks and joys of pursuing a married woman he almost certainly loved dearly.

Which, of course, brings us to Colorado’s Democratic primary for the U.S. Senate…

I myself am locked in a head and heart battle regarding the candidates running, and I confess I am no more likely to find the single, correct path forward than Jefferson was to find the way to personal happiness with Mrs. Cosway.

Here is my problem: I first met Andrew Romanoff when I myself was running for the U.S. Congress in the 5^th District, against U.S. Rep. Doug Lamborn. I remember clearly that I was at a house party put on by my campaign, and to my great surprise and delight, also in attendance was the then-Speaker of the State House, Andrew Romanoff. He was kind and supportive and was the first state-wide leader to endorse me. I will always be grateful for that. While he is somewhat to the left of me on some issues, I agree with him fully on many things, and consider him a friend. He is a remarkable person, with great personal integrity and is deeply committed to helping to mitigate the human condition. I’ve made small donations to his campaign, and respect him a great deal. My heart is with Andrew Romanoff for Senate.

But…

When I was working for Colorado U.S. Sen. Michael Bennet, I occasionally found myself at events where Gov. John Hickenlooper was also in attendance. I found myself very impressed with Hick, and I was in agreement with him on many, many issues. He is a remarkable person, with great personal integrity and is deeply committed to helping to mitigate the human condition. I’ve made small donations to his campaign, and respect him a great deal. Given his electoral success as a two-term governor of our great state, cold hard facts suggest Hick may be the most electable person running for Senate, and it would be smart to support him. My head tells me that I should support John Hickenlooper.

You see the problem…

Putting on my old El Paso County Dem Party Chair hat, I see the most important thing in this election to be (after defeating Donald Trump) getting a Democratic majority in the U.S. Senate. The U.S. Supreme Court is itself, in my view, the most vital potential area of action for the Senate that will take their seats in January 2021, and we must have a Democratic majority if we wish to protect, well, lots of things.

And so, it would seem that the smartest thing to do would be to vote for Hickenlooper, as my head tells me that he is the most likely to win. But my heart tells me that Romanoff is the most passionate, the most dedicated to working for real and meaningful change across the spectrum of issues that will confront our nation in the years to come. And, if enough “heart” voters follow their hearts, a Romanoff campaign can be successful.

So, what to do?

Jefferson found that with time, his heart shifted to other pursuits, and his ardor for Mrs. Conway cooled. I find myself in this modern October to still be conflicted. Either choice – Romanoff or Hickenlooper – would be a wonderful improvement, but my head and my heart still fight. I like both candidates personally, and I’m pleased we have such great folks to choose from, but like Jefferson, I am torn by a head and heart battling it out. 

Stay tuned.

Hal Bidlack is a retired professor of political science and a retired Air Force lieutenant colonel who taught more than 17 years at the U.S. Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs.