Colorado Politics

CAPITOL M | Dec. 30-Jan. 5: Opening Day check of the injury and ailment list

Welcome back, campers! Wasn’t that Friday Opening Day at the General Assembly just a hoot? Keep in mind the session will end (probably) on the first Friday in May, so there’s that to look forward to.

A shout-out to those who missed Opening Day because of various ailments. Among them was Kevin Bommer, the deputy director of the Colorado Municipal League, who recently had surgery. But if a good attitude means a good recovery (trust me, I know this one) he should be in fine form shortly.

He’s made a nifty list of goals for 2019. Words to live by.

Meanwhile, we have fresh proof that saws can be dangerous things. You can get the lowdown on why from Republican Sens. Don Coram of Montrose and Jerry Sonnenberg of Sterling.

Coram took the worst of it. He wandered around the state Capitol during December with his left arm in a sling. As of Opening Day, he’s down to a lot of bandages.

What you might not have noticed is that he’s missing the index finger of his left hand. Believe it or not, it didn’t happen wrestling with a steer (Coram was born and raised on a ranch).

Turns out he was working with an angle grinder with a saw attachment at the end of May, and a friendly gesture (waving to someone) cost him the finger.

“I’ve never given the finger to anyone in my life,” joked Coram.

Capitol M believes a nickname is in order. Being a fan of Lord of the Rings, I note that Frodo lost a finger when it got bit off by Gollum, and for the rest of Frodo’s days he was known as “Nine-fingered Frodo.” 

One suggestion that has already come up is “Decimated Don.” The origin of “decimated” is to lose 10 percent of something, so that fits, although it would also require an explanation with use. Ideas? Send them in!

Coram is now a mentor to Sonnenberg on the saw issue. Sonnenberg got crosswise with a saw this fall, and almost lost the tip of his thumb.

Decorum and a wish not to cause people to lose their breakfasts means you don’t get to see the pictures, but it was stomach-turning.

Fortunately the thumb, and the affable senator from Sterling, are nearly recovered. 

Stay safe, guys, willya? 

State Sens. Jerry Sonnenberg (left) of Sterling and Don Coram of Montrose (right), veterans of encounters with finger-chomping saws.
Marianne Goodland / Colorado Politics

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