Like many Americans, Kelly Stahlman is feeling election jitters.

As a White, suburban woman, she is a member of America’s largest voting block. Compounding her high-voter value, she is a 42-year Republican voting for a woman.

The mother of two sons with profound disabilities, she relied on Medicaid before both of them died, and she is afraid for her network of friends in the same position who can’t afford to lose public benefits.

“My stomach is in knots, scared at the core of my being,” said Stahlman.

She’s more nervous for what will happen to her community in the aftermath of the Tuesday election than she is about whether Kamala Harris wins.

“I’m worried regardless of the outcome because there’s going to be trouble,” she said.

The anxiety some Americans are feeling has been a low-level fester, which may bubble to the surface as the wait gets shorter.

“As we approach Nov. 5, these feelings are becoming increasingly heightened,”, said Metropolitan State University of Denver Psychology professor Randi Smith. “People are having trouble sleeping. They have a pit in their stomachs.”

Some of Smith’s patients regardless of party are coping with their fears of election doom with Xanax, Valium and wine.

It’s a choice she does not recommend.

The fall of democracy?

Despite their philosophical disagreements, both sides agree on one thing — each side is afraid that democracy is on the line if the other side wins.

In fact, a recent Stress in America survey by the American Psychological Association found that nearly 80% of Americans are stressed out about the  future of the country they love.

As the 2024 intense election season reaches its peak, 65% of adults surveyed by the APA reported feeling exhausted by politics and more than half are often angry.

A third of those polled said that the political schism is so large within their families that they limit their time with those who disagree with them. Parents report that their kids are being bullied at school over politics. Some young voters fret over a two-party system, which they feel leaves them with a choice of two evils.

More than two in five adults wouldn’t date someone who doesn’t share the same political opinions. About the same percentage said they haven’t felt this excited about an election in years.

The October survey was conducted by The Harris Poll on behalf of APA among more than 3,000 U.S. adults age 18+ between Aug. 1 and Aug, 23.

Smith recommends voters calm their fears by staying away from social media, and limiting their intake of election news.

‘You feel so helpless’

Lori Frasier has a healthy distrust for a media, which she feels has lost its objectivity.

“I don’t know how to find out about the truth any more. Both sides are manipulating the media,” she said.

A passionate conservative, Frasier admits that she does not like former President Donald Trump’s name-calling, but she says there’s plenty of vitriol from the left.

She still feels the sting of being called a “deplorable” by Hillary Clinton in 2016.

Last week, a comedian at a Trump rally in Madison Square Garden joked about Puerto Rico being a “floating island of garbage.” A few days later, President Biden took a counter punch, saying, “The only garbage I see floating out there is his supporters.” He later clarified that he meant to say that the hateful rhetoric at the Madison Square Garden rally was garbage.

“It’s sad what we’ve come to,” said Frasier.

“It’s not like we are all going to be friends on Nov. 6,” said Maggie Watt, a self-described split-ticket voter. “I feel like a dark cloud will be hanging over us for several months.”

Sally Allen, who mailed her ballot in early, can only wait. She works out at the gym to ease her fears.

“You feel so helpless. You always want to fix it,” she said.

The MSU psychologist doesn’t expect a resolution to the topsy-turvy situation because “people whose choice didn’t make it will feel scared.”

People on either side will feel “There goes democracy. Here comes violence,” Randi Smith said.

So, what to do about the feeling of impending doom?

No. 1, stay off of social media, which Smith said amplifies the scariest voices and elevates people’s darkest fears. She recommended that people put their cellphones down, take a break from the news, hike, make a date with friends, go to a movie or even make themselves useful by working the political phones to eliminate that “runaway train” feeling.

As hard as it appears, Smith’s advice for anyone feeling anxiety is to appreciate the good in the people they thought they love to hate.

“Let’s talk about things that give us comfort. We need to recognize the world is a beautiful place,” she said.

Though it’s too late to mail in a ballot, people have until 7 p.m. on Election Day to either vote in person or turn their votes in at one of Colorado’s 433 ballot drop boxes.

More than 1.7 million Colorado voters have already cast their ballots as of Oct. 31, according to the Colorado Secretary of State’s Office. The largest number of those voters are unaffiliated.

Recently, Stahlman and her hairstylist, who are on opposing sides, had a frank and uncomfortable conversation. It may be a risk to have a political conversation with the person who wields the scissors, but her new haircut looks great.

“I believe we have far more that unites us than divides us,” she said.