The lighter side of the Capitol, except when it isn’t

With less than two weeks (yay!) from the end of the 2022 session, news of what folks are planning to do after session is starting to pop up.

Julie Pelegrin of the Office of Legislative Legal Services, whose steady hand has for decades guided the crafting of education bills, including the annual school finance act, got a warm send-off from both the House and Senate Wednesday as she heads into retirement.

Pelegrin has spent 30 years at the Capitol, and the affection by lawmakers for her was obvious. Senate Minority Leader Chris Holbert of Douglas County called her his mentor. He recounted a story of when he was newly-elected and had this GREAT idea for a bill. He sat in her office, telling her the GREAT idea, which he learned of from another state, and she patiently listened. And then she said the state had been doing whatever that was for years.

Pelegrin told Capitol M she hasn’t figured out yet what she intends to do with all that free time, including long days, even longer nights and a LOT Of weekends, which is likely this late in the session.

Joke of the year: Someone FINALLY told a joke worthy of the word in House Appropriations Thursday. Proclaimed by Speaker Alec Garnett as the “joke of the year” (which could make one wonder just what jokes he’s listening to), it came from Rep. Kevin Van Winkle of Highlands Ranch. 

“I have many people to thank, especially my kids,” Van Winkle said, wiping a few fake tears from his eyes. 

The joke: Why does Where’s Waldo wear stripes? Because he doesn’t want to be spotted. 

By Friday, however, the joke-telling was over. In announcing a late Friday night approps committee hearing, Chair Rep. Leslie Herod of Denver told those coming to the hearing to save their jokes for the floor because “it isn’t funny anymore.”

An apparently grateful Garnett joked “I’ve been waiting all session to hear that.”

And THAT’S the joke of the year.

Go Pios! The University of Denver men’s hockey team, having won its 9th NCAA title recently, was honored with a resolution Friday morning. Sen. Nick Hinrichesen of Pueblo noted that he played hockey in high school, and met his wife (former state Rep. Bri Buentello) at Northern Michigan University, where among their arch-rivals (in hockey, at least), the University of Michigan. Both his wife and son watched the national championship game, and Hinrichsen said he came home to them cheering for DU. When he asked why, his wife said “the enemy of my enemy is my friend, and I’m teaching him foreign policy.” 

Masks are back at the Capitol, and with growing cases of new variants of COVID, a lot of folks aren’t taking chances. Topping the list: Revisor of Statutes Jennifer Gilroy, also of OLLS, who has more than one good reason to wear a mask. She’s getting married right after the session.

Her intended is also a familiar and long-time face at the Capitol: Alfredo Kemm, one of the Joint Budget Committee’s ??chief legislative budget and policy analysts, who handles capital construction, the judicial branch and independent agencies. Congrats to you both!

Bits and pieces from the House floor: Following a debate on a towing bill, Rep. Mike Lynch of Wellington said: “We’re changing the world, one tow at a time.”

Rep. Kyle Mullica of Northglenn is angling to be the next Capitol M star, but he has yet to suggest something this week worthy of the honor. Keep working at it, Rep. Mullica!

Music therapy at the Capitol: This is NOT a reference to Capitol M’s annual harp performance on Sine Die but it’s close. A bill going through the House this week would make it a big no-no to call yourself a music therapist if you aren’t one. That’s been an irritation for years for music therapists, seeing people without the requisite training calling themselves that, or worse, musical therapists. That’s pretty much fingernails-on-a-blackboard time.

Music therapists have a minimum of bachelor’s degree and in most programs an internship after, and board certification. So don’t call yourself one unless you are one, ya hear? (And as it turns out, Capitol M is one, or used to be, having earned a degree in it back in the 1980s and with practice with those with developmental disabilities, in hospice or in burn units.)

Fingernails on the blackboard, round two: A debate Thursday on a bill putting into state law the scholarship that has been promised for 50 years to Displaced Aurarians prompted wails of anguish from the basement press office when someone on the House floor pronounced Auraria (a-RARE-e-a) as Auroria (a-ROAR-e-a). Don’t do that again.

In other news: House Bill 1155, a bill to shorten the amount of time someone must attend a Colorado high school in order to get instate tuition, was named the Val Vigil Asset Act on Thursday. Rep. Vigil tried four times to get the ASSET bill, which grants instate tuition to undocumented residents, passed through the legislature. The bill finally passed in 2013, after Vigil was term-limited. He died in February 2021. 

Rubber band ball update: Preparations are underway for this year’s last-day-of-session rubber band ball drop, but the exact whereabouts and sizes of the Senate rubber band balls are a tightly guarded secret. That’s due to the Republicans’ ball being kidnapped for about a month out last year, and this year they’re not taking any chances with those pilfering Democrats.

On the sadder side of things: Heartfelt condolences go out to the family of lobbyist Kelley Brooks, who passed away Tuesday after a battle with brain cancer. Brooks worked with mom Becky at the legendary firm Stealy II.

One of the lawmakers who has frequently graced the Capitol M columns since its beginning is Rep. Matt Gray of Broomfield, one of the Capitol’s best practical jokers.

Sadly, Gray was arrested a week ago on suspicion of drunk driving. He hasn’t been back to the Capitol but has been working remotely this week. His problems with alcohol are not exactly a secret around the building, and Capitol M (and many others) hopes he gets the help he needs, and wishes him all the best for the future.