Men! What’s your solution to the all-too-frequent disregard of the rules related to sexual harassment? Or harassment by screaming at staff?

Three prominent men from New York, two former presidents and an about-to-be former governor, two impeached and one resigning, from both political parties, leave us incredulous as to the behavior they have acted out.

One man thinks it’s fine to force a kiss on a woman or grab some “p…y” whenever he wants. Another “had sex with that woman.” The third likes to touch and kiss women inappropriately. He touched his administrative executive with his finger down her back like an eighth grade school boy. And he drew a line on his state trooper guard from her chest to her belly button. These men also favor butt squeezes. Put the former senator from Minnesota on that list.

Then there’s the former congressmen who send photos of their bodies, with private parts proudly exposed, to women. Or congressmen who share personal sexual photos of women, without their permission. This behavior is not only inappropriate and probably illegal, but it’s exceptionally creepy.

Some powerful women in the resigning governor’s circle are contaminated by enabling his predatory behavior. When victims complained to them, they didn’t report his behavior to the proper authorities, or they didn’t do enough to stop him.

These women apparently weighed their opportunities to do what they believed were good civic things for New Yorkers against covering for the governor’s bad personal behavior. These choices are not one-offs. They occur all too often in the workplace. And then there’s the seduction of power.

There’s a generational element to how people consider sexual harassment. The governor and former presidents grew up at a time in the 1960s and ’70s when sexual harassment was commonplace. Many of their women peers experienced and blew off harassing experiences because “that’s the way it was.” It wasn’t so much grin and bear it as bear it.

Women were just beginning to find their place in professional fields beyond teaching, nursing, and administrative work when sexual harassment entered the nomenclature. Well into the ’70s employers asked women if they were going to get married, have children soon, or take birth control pills. These questions didn’t become ill advised until 1978 with the Pregnancy Discrimination Act. It wasn’t until 1980 that the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission issued regulations defining sexual harassment.

It’s clear that some men haven’t adjusted their brains or other parts to the now established principles of keeping one’s hands, lips, and other body parts to oneself without permission. In boss-to-employee relations, no amount of permission counts.

Similarly troublesome in the cases of the more recent president and the NY governor is their terrorizing temper. The report on the governor speaks to his vicious tantrums. For his staffers, it was a toss-up as to whether it was worse to be groped or screamed at. Apparently the former president’s temper tantrums caused even the generals and cabinet members to vent that he was an “f-bomb idiot.”

On the woman side, women who grew up in the 90s and 00s were taught that sexual harassment at work is cause for the harasser’s termination. They’ve also learned that complaining about sexual harassment, or reporting sexual harassment, is cause for more harassment, especially if the harasser is an elected government official or high officer in business.

Based on the report on the governor’s behavior from the New York Attorney General, the harassed women, all much younger than the governor, did complain but felt they couldn’t pursue, or sucked it up when they reported his behavior but nothing changed. The investigation into the governor’s behavior required eleven young women to speak out to generate enough credibility to end his term in office. More than eleven women spoke out against the most recent former president, and he never faced consequences other than some private pay-offs. Both men deny everything.

Humans are imperfect, that’s for sure. But it must be possible to do better than put up with behavior that corrodes hearts and souls. Would it be helpful, for example, to add the following to COVID reminders on bathroom mirrors: “Wash your hands AND keep your hands to yourself at all times.”