Colorado Politics

The Onion takes on Hickenlooper once again

Oh, man, even if it’s The Onion, that’s got to cause some tears.

After the Democratic Debate in Des Moines, Iowa, Tuesday night, the famous satire news site had its fun with our former governor, one-time presidential hopeful and aspiring U.S. senator.

The headline without a story remarked on a faux moment in the CNN debate:

‘Hey, Remember John Hickenlooper?’ Says Wolf Blitzer To Break Tension From Debate

The Onion has picked on Hick before.

On Aug. 16, after he dropped out of the presidential race, the paper did a man-on-the-street question about his departure from the race.

One quote was attributed to a person identified as Noah Sykes: “I think he has a great shot at polling above 1% in Colorado.”

And Marco Sharp purportedly said, “The star that burns twice as bright burns half as long.”

That’s not even the worst of it.

Back in July when the end seemed near, The Onion teed up Hickenlooper again with this mean headline: “‘Right This Way To The Debate Stage,’ Says Tearful, Rock-Holding Hickenlooper Aide Leading Candidate To Secluded Spot In The Woods.”

The story below that concludes with “a spooked John Hickenlooper was sprinting through the forest after stumbling upon the strangled corpse of Eric Swalwell.”

Satire is rarely kind, and in politics it can be the cruelest companion.

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