The lighter side of the Capitol, usually. 

The roast of a legendary and much-loved lobbyist

The Capitol’s Clown Prince, Eric Bergman, the policy director for Colorado Counties, Inc., is bidding the legislature a fond farewell after 14 years. He will join the Polis administration to lead the housing division at the Department of Local Affairs.

The state Senate and his friends (?) in the lobby corps gave him a good send-off on April 19, with a larger-than-life license plate and a proper roasting on one of the bills he’s been working on this session.

House Bill 1266 deals with utility right-of-way issues with the Colorado Department of Transportation. According to Sen. Rachel Zenzinger, who brought the bill forward on second reading, it is pretty simple.

It won unanimous approval from the Senate Local Government Committee and was placed on the consent calendar, a sign that everyone was singing kumbaya about the bill.

Zenzinger started the fun by asking that the bill be removed from the consent calendar, which is a sure sign of TROUBLE.

The roast was on.

She started with an actual amendment to make some technical changes.

So far, so good.

Sen. Barbara Kirkmeyer then brought an amendment, a strike-below that she said would take the bill back to its original version. YIKES!

A cloud passed over Bergman’s face as she announced it.

No, that was the wrong amendment, Kirkmeyer said. The REAL amendment was a strike-below that would change the bill to the “Eric Bergman Commemorative License Plate.”

The plate would honor Bergman for his 25 years of working with local governments and lobbying (when he wasn’t hanging out at the rail and making jokes, Kirkmeyer added) at the Capitol.

The plate would be designed with input from local governments, lawmakers, and other fans of Bergman’s. Anyone can apply for the plate, the amendment said, so long as they pay the associated taxes and fees, except that Bergman could be waived from paying those taxes and fees.

The amendment came complete with a safety clause and a larger-than-life plate picture.

The dark money language on the license plate is tied to some silliness from last year when a blogger turned lobbyist for the magic mushroom industry accused him of being the prince of dark money because CCI hired Bergman at the same time the U.S. Supreme Court made its 2010 decision on Citizens’ United (I told you it didn’t make any sense).

That was one of the best laughs of the 2023 session, and it led to lobbyist Angie Binder’s creation of Eric Bergman Fan Club pins, including the line: “Paid for with dark money.”

Eric Bergman's ’long game’ and the continued hunt for an after-hours hangout | CAPITOL M

To watch the entire roast, go to https://tinyurl.com/2y8yjuzc

Rocky Mountain Oysters a’plenty

The Sportsmen BBQ, sponsored by the Sportsmen Caucus and a host of outdoor organizations, such as Coloradans for Wildlife Management, was held on April 18. It was a somewhat snowy event in support of the North American Model of Wildlife Conservation.

But that did not stop lots of lawmakers, staff and friends from chowing down on elk brats, hamburgers, mountain lion (I’ll bet you wondered what those little cubes were) and the star of the show, Sen. Perry Will’s Rocky Mountain Oysters, or “moo marbles,” as he calls them.

Capitol M spends way too much time each year hunting for Rocky Mountain Oyster virgins, those who have never tried it. Some folks never will, but several folks did take the plunge. Among them were Royce Hataway, a House sergeant; Daniel McDonald, an aide to Rep. Tish Mauro; and 13-year-old Matthew Schaerer of Highlands Ranch, a Boy Scout at the Capitol. “It was really good. It tasted just like fried chicken,” he said, adding that he would eat them again.

Auctioneer day will give the nonpartisan staff quite the party this year

Monday was auctioneer day, and lawmakers invited some of the state’s best auctioneers to the House to show off their talents.

Proceeds go to the nonpartisan staff end-of-session party. Based on lawmakers’ generosity, this year, we’re talking champagne and caviar.

Alan Woolsey of Canon City, the state’s champion auctioneer for 2024, announced the bids, joined by a handful of “ringmen” around the chamber to catch the bids.

Woolsey drives a hard bargain!

Rep. Shannon Bird bought an American flag and a Colorado flag, which flew over the state Capitol, for $210 and $220, respectively.

Majority Leader Monica Duran took home beefsticks from Colorado Craft Beef of Akron, in pepper and smoked jalapeno, all boxed in a collector’s box, for $320.

Rep. Leslie Herod won a lunch with the majority and minority leaders to discuss any bill, complete with an Italian meal prepared by Rep. Rose Pugliese, with a winning bid of $525. She must have something very serious to discuss!

But the big prize of the day: a box of assorted prime Angus beef, a selection of ground steaks, loins, and roasts, also from Colorado Craft Beef, went to Rep. Elizabeth Velasco for $1,500.

The party for the nonpartisan staff will be quite the event!