The lighter side of the state Capitol, usually

There’s no happier day for Capitol M, other than Sine Die, than April Fool’s Day, and the bounty of jokes, videos and pranks.

This week did not disappoint.

Best practical joke 

Senate President Steve Fenberg is a good sport and probably has the best sense of humor of any lawmaker. 

He’s the butt of jokes from the Capitol press corps, which wore fake moustaches to a media avail earlier in the year (and pretended to NOT be wearing them). A more recent avail featured asking him to address the latest Kate Middleton scandal (the photo issue, not on her cancer diagnosis). Fenberg went for it. He’s planning to run legislation, set up a task force, the whole shebang.

Bravo, Mr. President.

He’s been the target of practical jokes for April Fool’s Day in the past. This year, he played one of his own on Senate Majority Leader Robert Rodriguez.

As the majority leader was announcing the bills that would be debated that day, he had his back turned to the rest of the Senate and was facing the president.

When Rodriguez turned back around, he faced an empty room. Almost every member of the Senate was gone, save for Sen. Tony Exum. 

“Where’s your members?” asked Fenberg, and then suggested Rodriguez should do a call of the Senate. The problem was, they needed at least five members to do that, and there weren’t that many on the floor.

“Dereliction of duty!” Fenberg declared, and then waved everyone back in.

Nicely played!

Best joke

That honor goes to Reps. Meg Froelich and Lisa Frizell, for their sleep-deprived special session announcement, featuring Dr. Freesia (pronounced freeze-ya) Balsov and Dr. Ophelia (Ah-feel-yer) Payne.

Second place goes to Rep. Marc Catlin, for suggesting he would run a bill to protect Sasquatch, who he claims is a resident of southern Colorado. Talk about an endangered species!

Best video

That honor goes outside of the Capitol, to Denver Mayor Mike Johnston. By the way, Mr. Mayor, you have not yet responded to the challenge from Sen. Perry Will for a Rocky Mountain Oyster contest. The date has been set! Thursday, April 18 at noon-ish on the east side of the Capitol. 

Johnston gets the honor as he is a former member of the Senate, by the way.  

Mayor @MikeJohnstonCO announces a historic step for Denver. pic.twitter.com/S3wE4JgZmE

— City and County of Denver (@CityofDenver) April 1, 2024

The mayor now has the unenviable task for choosing WHICH step on the west steps of the Capitol will hold the new designation.

Didya know there are actually three different places on the west steps of the state Capitol that denote EXACTLY where Denver is 5,280 feet above sea level? The first is probably the written marker on the steps; based on tarnish the second is probably the step above it and the third is the one below it, about four steps below the written marker.

Apparently, the state Capitol is sinking. 

Second place goes to Our Guv and his shoe advertisement. Sorry, Guv, but that one was a bit TOO believable. Better looking than Trump’s shoes, though. 

Many Coloradans know me for my signature blue sneakers or my Colorado-themed sneakers, they are an important part of my daily attire, especially as I travel across the state to visit with Coloradans. Now, I’m thrilled to launch my own line of shoes so that every person can… pic.twitter.com/vwHQSR9UOX

— Governor Jared Polis (@GovofCO) April 1, 2024

Best humor by a lobbyist on April Fool’s Day

And a BIG thank you to Kelly Hopfer for washing these socks the night before.

Second place: sadly, given that he’s planning to go off to a cushy government job at the end of the session, our Clown Prince (Eric Bergman of CCI) decided to tone it down this year. 

There was a definite LACK of funny ties on April Fool’s Day. Just sayin’.

Best of the rest

Honorable mention for April Fool’s Day: 

We’re all about convenience at DEN and getting to your gate just got a whole lot easier! Introducing DEN Screen&Ride: America’s FIRST driveway to runway service. ✈️ Book your ride now: https://t.co/XNNeIATtTl pic.twitter.com/ASlykU1Nx8

— Denver Int’l Airport (@DENAirport) April 1, 2024

Don’t give anyone any ideas, m’kay? 

Honorable mention two, also a DIA tie, to the Facebook account for Downtown Colorado Springs, for swapping Blucifer for the statute of Gen. William Palmer.

Quote of the week: Frizell, noting the agenda of the House Business Affairs & Labor Committee on March 27, which heard three bills on banking and guns: “it’s the Warren Zevon agenda!” (aka Lawyers, Guns & Money, his signature hit)

The Mike Weissman window wars: Apparently during the session there’s been some consternation over Rep. Mike Weissman’s obsession with cool (okay, COLD) air.

He’s got this habit of opening one of the west side windows in the House chamber, the one that just happens to be next to the press corps table on the House floor. Gee, thanks, bud!

He then goes back to his seat, which just happens to be in the VERY.LAST.ROW of the House. So he doesn’t even get to enjoy the fruits of his labors.

When he tried it during Long Bill Thursday, Rep. Shannon Bird dashed to the window to close it in record time. Weissman had not gone back to his seat, so there were some looks between them – a challenge maybe? – on whether he’d open it again. The press corps took to timing how long it would take for someone to close the window. The shortest was about 2 minutes.