The lighter side of the Capitol, usually

April Fools’ Day didn’t quite live up to its billing

There have been some great April Fool’s pranks over the years, such as replacing Senate President Steve Fenberg’s couch with an inflatable one and sewing the coat sleeves shut of various lawmakers.

The best that could be mustered this year was a little something from the nonpartisan staff. In the House, the top page of the printed calendar was on a yellow sheet of paper. That’s the color the Senate uses. The Senate did the same, swapping their traditional yellow for the House orange.

If you have to explain it, the joke loses its punch, IMO.

There have been some notable efforts in the past to revise the House and Senate calendars over the years, and fortunately, your faithful scribe has retained a few.

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A few words of explanation are necessary for the House calendar: The Weissman is Paul, not Mike; the Soper is John, not Matt.

And then there’s this: HB 08-1466 Concerning a requirement that only Representative Bob Gardner can move to dispense with the reading of the journal. Sponsored by 63 out of 64 members of the House, excluding Gardner. The missing lawmaker: then-Rep. Douglas Bruce. Yes, that was the year he served in the House and became the very first lawmaker to be censured by the entire House (and at the behest of his caucus) for kicking a Rocky Mountain News photographer on the House floor—no love lost between those two.

Back to the somewhat tepid attempts in 2025: An effort, albeit somewhat successful, to deceive reporters into thinking the session would run an extra week, courtesy of Senate Majority Leader Robert Rodriguez of Denver. This was during Tuesday’s weekly media availability, in which he informed reporters that he and Senate President James Coleman were headed to the governor’s office, where the governor was going to extend the session by an extra week because the budget had been delayed by a week.

If you caught Rodriguez smiling — and only a few did — you’d know it was a joke. Those who weren’t in view showed a bit of alarm.

Rodriguez was conned into trying the joke by a reporter who shall remain nameless, Jesse Paul.

Speaking of the governor

The best April Fool’s joke in the state Capitol, because it was the only good one in the Capitol, belongs to Gov. Jared Polis. He outdid himself this year.

“No one likes an unflattering photo or painting of themselves, which is why I went against the grain for my official portrait,” the governor said in a statement with a pretty good dig at President Trump, who complained last week about his portrait, which has since been removed from the presidential gallery).

“I’ve proudly supported Colorado art, the joy that art can spread, and this portrait was an exciting opportunity to do exactly that while weaving this portrayal into the fabric of Colorado’s history. I’m pleased with the final product and want to thank the artists for their vision, and feel that I have never looked better,” he said.

The portrait came with a long list of requirements:

• The Governor must be depicted directly facing the viewer

• The Governor’s well-known signature look, specifically his signature blue polo, must remain unchanged.

• The portrait must utilize the bright blue hue of the Governor’s iconic tennis shoes

• The Governor must be smiling or smizing (look it up)

• The portrait must include Colorado’s iconic state flag

One suspects he might have had some help with his buddies from South Park. And there were comments that the portrait bears something of a resemblance to Mr. Mackey, the South Park guidance counselor, m’kay?

Long bill shenanigans

Apparently, footnotes to the Long Bill, which was debated Wednesday in the Senate, have been dubbed in the past “letters to Santa Claus.”

This came up while Senate Minority Leader Paul Lundeen was advocating for a amendment adding a footnote to the long bill during the committee of the whole, a procedural action that takes place at the end of debate.

His comments evolved (or devolved) into discussions about how they regard former members of the General Assembly, notably, former House Speaker Mark Ferrandino, now the director of the governor’s Office of State Planning and Budgeting.

Lundeen, however, forgot to move his amendment, and was initially fined $2.50, and another $2.50 for referencing a member of the lower chamber who was at that moment in the lobby outside the Senate chamber (Ferrandino).

“Are you kidding me?” Lundeen retorted. A $5 fine for that big of a mistake? It should be at least $10, Lundeen said, and then said he would impose a $20 fine on himself. The fines pay for a party for the nonpartisan staff at the end of the session.

JBC Chair Sen. Jeff Bridges recounted that it is far worse than just being a member of the lower chamber. He’s a member of the lower floor, which earned whistles from some of the other members. Then there was this quip from Sen. Julie Gonzales, D-Denver, who was standing just close enough to the microphone to be heard to say “that much closer to hell!”