The lighter side of the General Assembly. Watch out for puppy-poo-poo-ers.

Cell phones a’plenty in the local government committee!

There’s a rule about cell phones in certain parts of the Capitol. Don’t let them ring, don’t use them on the floor of the House or Senate and don’t use them in committee rooms.

Apparently IOIYAL (It’s okay if you’re a legislator)

All kidding aside, the trio pictured above show off their success in getting House Bill 1056 out of the House Transportation, Housing and Local Government Committee. The bill came from the Cell Phone Connectivity Interim Study Committee, of which Reps. Soper, Bacon and Lukens are members. 

ONE NIGHT ONLY: Rep. Brianna Titone is going to try out her comedy chops

If you had the very good fortune to be in the House on Sine Die last year, you got the treat of seeing one of the funniest videos (in Capitol M’s opinion) ever shown. It was a collaboration between Reps. Brianna Titone and Lorena Garcia, focused on the somewhat Herculean effort to get a one-line bill repealing Colorado’s statute on the digital token act. Colorado became the only state in the country with a statute on digital tokens, and then became the only state to repeal a statute on digital tokens.

It was HILARIOUS, but like Hummers, not shareable.

Titone, whose sense of humor leans toward a deadpan style, is going to try out her comedy chops with the public next month.

On March 1, Boulder’s Junkyard Social Club will be Colorado’s host of the “Here to Pee” Tour. It’s a national tour, all 50 states, featuring trans comedians. Titone was initially asked to give welcoming remarks, as one of the nation’s only trans lawmakers, but then asked if she could do a routine. 

Stay tuned.

It couldn’t hurt

Titone is also doing her best to improve communications between the House and Senate and the General Assembly and the First Floor.

Her effort features two tin cans and a sizeable length of string.

Just how much string she’ll need to get to the governor’s office is yet to be determined, as well as whether he’ll answer the “can.”

Puppy poo-poo-ers in the House!

In honor of last Saturday’s Goldens in Golden, where hundreds, if not thousands, of Golden Retrievers (and other interlopers) gathered to sniff and bark and generally be their ever-happy selves, taking over Washington Street in Golden for a good part of the day.

Recently, Rep. Max Brooks of Castle Rock had the dubious (!) honor of attempting to get a “yes” vote on approval of the House journal of the previous day.

In a desperate bid for “yes” votes one day (and which never happens), Brooks put up a photo of adorable puppies, under the premise if you loved puppies, you’d vote yes.

Of course, those hard-hearted lawmakers in the House could not be swayed, and the “noes” were louder than the “ayes.” 

Happily, House Speaker Julie McCluskie, whose passion for puppies knows no bounds, announced the “ayes” had won the day and the journal was approved. 

The following week, the job went to the the steady hand of Rep. Jarvis Caldwell of Monument, who in a previous life was the communications director for the House GOP. 

He’s seen hundreds of journal motions over the years, Caldwell said, but noted there were two things he hadn’t seen: a unanimous vote for approval, and a division (standing) vote. Just sayin, Caldwell said. But for reasons known only to him, he mentioned he recently had been talking to constituents of Rep. Ken DeGraff of Colorado Springs. “There’s nothing he wouldn’t do,” Caldwell said. 

As Caldwell called for the motion to approve, a voice range out: “DIVISION!” It was DeGraaf.

That earned a quick shaking of the head from Speaker Pro tem Rep. Andrew Boesenecker of Fort Collins.

The vote was closer than usual, probably because almost NOBODY voted. And yes, the motion was approved, despite the lack of enthusiasm.

Enthusiasm needed!

According to Majority Leader Monica Duran, some of the new lawmakers (and a few of the repeaters) don’t speak loudly enough into the microphone.

It’s a little hard to imagine, given some of the sonorous voices in the House, that this would be a problem. 

Duran encouraged members, whom she did not identify, to speak up. Heaven help us! This could be downright painful.

“Did you hear me?” she quipped. (You do NOT have to ask the Majority Leader to speak up. Just sayin’.)

Who ya gonna call? Not each other, apparently

The Pelton boys were recently at it again in the Senate. Sen. Byron Pelton of Sterling brought up a bill that drew questions (and apparent concerns!) from Sen. Rod Pelton of Cheyenne Wells. The latter Pelton got his questions answered, and as he headed back, he was asked how he could challenge his cousin.

“Just ’cause we’re related doesn’t mean he’s always right,” said the latter Pelton. 

Vice versa, said the former Pelton, moments later.

Star Wars, anyone?

The upcoming bill on construction defects has prompted some interesting comments about the sponsors. There’s 27 in all, and every possible ideology within the state Capitol is represented: progressive Dems, moderate Dems, far-right Republicans and traditional Republicans. 

It’s been referred to as bipartisanship on steroids, but even better, something akin to the famous cantina scene in the original Star Wars: A New Hope (courtesy Mike Beasley, apparently, who has used that description before, although it’s hard to imagine a major policy bill that’s more bipartisan than this.)

If you’ll recall, this is the first scene in which you see Chewbacca and Hans Solo (bill sponsors Senators Dylan Roberts and Senate President James Coleman, maybe?)

The role of Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi is a no-brainer: bill architect Rep. Shannon Bird, although one hopes for a better ending to the construction defects bill than what faced the Jedi Master.

Does Boesenecker, the other prime sponsor, fit the role of Luke Skywalker? Only the Force knows.