The lighter side of the Capitol, usually.

Capitol M just LUVS the conversations that go on around the Capitol about the history of pranks, like when a particular Senate president in the recent decade (but it isn’t Kevin Grantham) flew a drone through the Senate chamber, or when Rep. Gary McPherson’s pants were hung from the House chandelier, a prank committed by a Republican lawmaker who went on to become House Speaker (it’s not Frank McNulty).

Just in case you were wondering, McPherson wasn’t wearing the pants at the time. He was wearing a kilt.

These stories are why this column exists: to try to bring some levity to a place that has gotten WAY too serious in the last few years, given the elimination of Hummers (which got too mean) or other shenanigans.

So, from time to time, this column will revisit some of those past events, hoping that the sense of humor around the state Capitol is not permanently impaired and could generate some good-natured follow-up.

St. Patrick’s Day, and the exchange of the (ahem) jacket

One time-honored tradition in the House concerns (and it’s concerning!) the ugliest green jacket EVER. The jacket has been passed from one House lawmaker of allegedly Irish descent (c’mon, everyone’s Irish for a day, or so we’re told) to another, going back to 1993.

One of the traditions around this jacket is that the wearer slips a note into the pocket for the lawmakers who will inherit it in the years to come. But the jacket has been around so long, and the moths haven’t gotten to it yet (unfortunately), so the notes filled the pockets and then some. Eventually, the notes went into a notebook that now accompanies the jacket on its journey to its next victim, er, wearer.

What’s in the folder is a mix of the history of St. Patrick’s Day, jokes, toasts, because, of course, there’s spirits involved, and a few personal notes from one lawmaker to another.

In one telling of the jacket’s story—and there appear to be several—the jacket is “never to leave the Capitol, and its great powers shall not be used for partisan advantage, and therefore the requirement that when the holder’s time of public service was done, it should be bequeathed to a worthy member of the other party.”

The jacket was won in an allegedly honest game of poker by Rep. Stan Johnson, a Boulder Republican (yes, there once upon a time was such a thing) in 1993. He passed it along to state Rep Jim Dyer, who held onto it for five years. From there it went to Rep. Gayle Berry of Grand Junction, who was its bearer for six years.

In 2009, it was shared between Reps. Anne McGihon of Denver and Mike May of Parker in a one-week time-share arrangement. But then, tragedy, or maybe good fortune, surfaced: former Rep. Debbie Stafford of Aurora stole it and had it dry-cleaned. After 15 years, it needed it!

It even went through the vacancy committee process. In 2010, it was in the hands of Rep. Karen Middleton of Aurora, but she resigned from the House prior to the 2011 St. Patrick’s Day, so a vacancy committee appointed it to Rep. Andy Kerr.

During its sojourn, the unthinkable happened. It wound up in the hands of a Brit! Yikes!

That was in 2008, when one narrative, probably written by Stafford, said it fell into the “worthy” (huh?) British hands of Rep. Ellen Roberts of Durango. But such a travesty should not stand! Stafford stole it that very day. The coat was returned, but Stafford “was cursed by the Wee Folk and cast into the wilderness and ultimately forced to join the Democratic Party.”

The suspicion that Stafford wrote the narrative is based on the early history of the green coat, which noted Fenians had recovered it from the “evil unlicensed mortician and returned it to the Leprechauns.” The strike-through line on “unlicensed” is undoubtedly Stafford’s work since she was the sponsor of the 2006 legislation to require funeral directors, morticians, and others to be licensed, registered, and trained, a bill vetoed by Gov. Bill Owens.

She neither confirms nor denies it.

Among the notes left by previous lawmakers, this limerick from Rep. Cherilyn Peniston of Broomfield when she passed the jacket to Rep. Polly Lawrence of Roxborough Park:

“There once was a legislator named Polly,

Who learned her math skills in construction, by golly!

She calculated each chocolate ball,

Within 6 to 8 of the exact number did she fall,

Which earned her the House green jacket folly!”

This appears to reference one of the other green jacket traditions: bribery!

It’s not that Capitol M has any personal knowledge, but there’s a rumor that negotiations are ongoing about who will get the jacket next. Rumor also has it there’s whiskey involved, although it had better be Jameson’s and none of that Scottish nonsense.

The meeting of the McCaucus was held last Monday, with (in the words of Rep. Barbara McLachlan) lots of “very unhealthy food” available for one and all.

The 2024 limerick, as recited by Rep. Karen McCormick:

“On St. Patrick’s Day in the Capitol dome

Politicians adorned in green roam,

Shamrocks and cheer, leprechaun appear,

As lawmakers draft bills in the gloam.

In the state legislature so grand,

The politicians made their stand,

with debates fierce and long,

they argued right and wrong,

until the law of the land were planned.”

The coat may only be worn by those who seek the truth and strive to preserve justice through the making of the law, said Rep. Mike Lynch, the jacket’s 18th wearer, in recounting its history.

However, according to that history, the evil unlicensed mortician from whom the leprechauns stole it was cursed with perpetual regulation for letting it walk away.

Stafford was on hand Monday to witness the celebration of the green jacket.

It’s on!

Denver Mayor Mike Johnston has made a tall request to relinquish his current role as the voice of the Denver International Airport Train to Sen. Perry Will of New Castle.

If you recall, Sen. Will did his recording for the DIA train recently. There’s even a petition to make the change, which has gained 200 votes since it was announced in the pages of this column. Only about 200 more to go!

“Senator Will can record the DIA train message as soon as he helps the Broncos deliver a Super Bowl win for Denver!” the mayor said.

That’s not so far-fetched; when the Denver Nuggets won the NBA championship last year, the train voice was briefly switched to Mike Malone, their coach. So, there is precedent for at least a brief replacement of the train voice.

Now, the notion of getting Sen. Will to find a decent quarterback, and one he could afford (on a lawmaker’s pay? right!) is probably too tall an order; another idea has been developed and proposed to the mayor.

Stay tuned.