As part of its new lineup of entertainment this fall, the Colorado State Fair plans to host the “World Slopper Eating Championship.” This, truly, is an idea whose time has come.
For years, Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest in New York has been a Fourth of July tradition. But honestly, which would you rather see people scarf down — a bunch of plain, soggy hot dogs or a platter full of always-messy-even-when-you’re-being-careful sloppers?
Really, the spectators who sit in the front rows for this new event should be outfitted in rain parkas and safety glasses. There should be signs posted to warn people of the danger of flying green chile. The fire department should have someone ready to put out the blazes in contestants’ taste buds.