Coloradans reveal intriguing patterns in GOP searches

 

“A Texan Resort” abets Rick Perry, while the rest of Colorado trumps The Donald (mostly).

An interactive map introduced by Google News Labs and posted by “serial entrepreneur” — and Bob Beauprez son-in-law — Allen Fuller on his website RootsHQ.com this week sheds some light on what a lot of folks here in Colorado already know. What’s that, you say? Whelp friends, Lake City is nothing more than a rootin’ tootin’ resort town for our Lone Star friends from the south … the big state … you know, Texas. You guessed it folks, while busting out Hank Williams on their tailgate stereos and breathin’ in all that fresh mountain air, this here analytical look at Colorado shows the Lake City kinfolk were also powering their Internet thingamajigs off the propane generator so they could Google search for their former president, we mean governor, Rick Perry.

If it were in our budget here at The Statesman, we would have sent an investigative reporter down to Hinsdale County to, well investigate, of course. We visualize a wall of yard signs right next to the town entrance welcoming visitors to North Perry Land.

The map is actually quite fascinating. It shows which current GOP presidential candidates generated the most searches by county between June and July of this year. Trump is indicated by red. And well, Colorado’s map shows a sea of red other than good-ole’ Hinsdale County, the home of Lake City — also known as a Texan Resort — along with a couple of other outliers. We’re serious folks. Check it out and maybe even book yourself a trip while you’re at it at www.texanresort.com.

But wait, you say, you said something about a couple of other outliers, right? What were the other outliers you ask? Ok, ok, we won’t leave you hanging. Ted Cruz was the most searched-for GOP presidential candidate in Saguache County and Scott Walker was the most searched-for Republican presidential candidate in … Conejos County… Umm yeah, those two lost us also. Maybe one of you loyal readers can enlighten us. Do a lot of folks down in Saguache have “The Old Man and the Sea” on their bookshelves? Can you hear the sweet sounds of the mambo coming from inside homes when taking an evening stroll? Don’t know. Do they like government shutdowns down there? Your guess is as good as ours. And what about Conejos? Are there a lot of Wisconsinites living there, or is it just one person who really, really likes cheese? Again, your guess.

At any rate, somewhere there’s a GIS professional that should be quite proud of themselves. They just made a whole lot of political wonks really, really happy — thanks for confirming what we already knew but never could quite empirically prove — Hinsdale County is in fact a Texas annex. Seriously, drive through there and count for yourselves the number of Walker Texas Ranger lookalike trucks. You’ll need more than two hands.

Oh yes, and apparently Colorado residents have poor taste in hairstyles, or they simply can’t look away from the follicle-impaired train wreck that is The Donald’s scalp.

Enough of this. Hmm, we wonder what Carly Fiorina is up to? We’ll Google her and find out.

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