Oh! The tweets that you'll read!

I was scrolling through Twitter alone on my couch.
Yep, the world was still crumbling — to that, I can vouch.
There was anger and outrage all over the screen. 
For a year now, this doom watching's been my routine.

Would you look at the news! The whole world's lost its mind!
Was there ever a time we were in such a bind?
Though it could be the fact that we all get to view
What these strangers are spewing; there is no taboo.

Is there anything worse than what Cuomo just did?
There's not, so I'll retweet the calls for his head!
Can you even believe what Joe Biden just said?
Now Neanderthal's trending, and he's seeing red!

Though the calendar says that it's March once again
I still sometimes forget to make sense of the time.
Sure, a whole year's gone by but I know loud and clear
It's the four hundred thirtieth day of last March.

But what else would I do with the long day to fill?
I've binged Netflix and Hulu and Peacock as well
All day long it's just screens — sometimes Zoom, sometimes Skype.
I'm afraid that now I'm just a stereotype.

Go to Meeting or Hangouts or Microsoft Teams!
If I never unmute, I can't hear all the screams.
Please forgive my dramatic description just then.
It's so hard to relax when the crisis won't end.

Can't believe what she said and how they took the bait.
Lauren Boebert is at it again with her tweets.
Whether calling Pelosi a traitor or worse,
There's an endless supply of resentment and gripes.

Ted Cruz with his bags on a flight to Cancun
While his friends and his neighbors were stuck in the cold
Flyin’ Ted took a powder until he was caught
And then threw his two daughters under the bus.

It's so easy to tweet things that you'd never say
Without stopping to realize you've plum lost your way.
The invective, the tirades, the ad hominem,
Seems to roll off your keyboard like rain off a duck.

Only lately there's been a new insult to mull.
It's a slap in the face to all I hold most dear,
I've just hit the ceiling, so outraged am I.
Dr. Seuss has been cancelled, at least so I hear.

Canceling neighborhood names and what mountains are called,
Like Confederate flags and that Washington team,
Pretty soon all our mascots and syrup and toys
Will be as erased as the American dream.

Dr. Seuss had a way with his art and his rhymes,
Though his casually racist cartoons fit his times.
There's a drawing of Africans wearing grass skirts
And depictions of Asians — the bigotry hurts.

But because he's beloved and kids read his books
The foundation in charge of his legacy thought
That it only made sense to stop spreading the tales
That portrayed folks in ways that were "hurtful and wrong."

But I knew that it mattered cuz Twitter said so.
None other than Congressman Buck had a go
At describing the perils of canceling Seuss
In terms that evoked the worst kind of abuse.

It's the death of free thought and a danger to all,
Said Ken Buck in a tweet that just bristled with gall.
Our society faces its gravest threat yet!
Anyone can be cancelled, there'll be nothing left!

This week Amazon canceled its logo because
It looks too much like Hitler — no really, it does — 
So the company ditched the old logo, like that!
The next thing you know it's the Cat in the Hat!

My mistake, it was other books from the Seuss oeuvre
Titles I don't remember, no Grinch and no ham.
But the principle stands, the good doctor's been cut,
Or a few of his titles, it's not real clear what.

I just don’t understand why the shows that I watch
All get canceled by networks when their ratings drop
They just care about viewers and selling their ads.
It's all cancel culture, it makes me so mad!

Even racist cartoons like the good doctor drew
Must have fans of their own — did you see how they flew
Off the virtual bookshelves at Amazon‘s store?
Once news broke they’d been canceled their fans wanted more.

In a photo that posted online and was seen
By the millions of users who follow such things
The ex-president's son read a book to his kid
'Twas the Cat in the Hat! There, you see what he did?

If woke culture can cancel a classical book,
Is there anyone sure that they won't get the hook?
It's an act of rebellion to read Dr. Seuss!
Said some ultra conservative wag on the loose.

Though they might have forgotten just eight weeks ago
Was another rebellion, it was quite the show.
But it's hard to remember what was all the fuss
When they're canceling potatoes — so much to discuss!

Could it be that the fury aimed at the woke mob
Is just a diversion from doing their job?
No, the anger seems real, there's so much that's at stake!
Aunt Jemimah's been cancelled; I want my pancake!

Except canceling Seuss isn't quite what went down,
Even though Fox News hosts raised a hue and a cry.
You can think of it more like some bread that's gone stale
Or that carton of milk in the back of your fridge.

It'd be easier sometimes to shut down this machine.
But the world's always churning! I might miss something.
So I scroll and I click and I check out the trends.
As I seethe and I worry, the news never ends.

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